Frequently Asked Questions

Couples Counselling - Frequently Asked Questions

What is couples counselling and does it work?
The main difference between couple (or relationship) counselling and individual counselling is that it involves both the partners in the relationship, and the focus is on the relationship itself. The aim is to help both partners resolve issues and understand each other better.

How long does it take?
There is no set time within which problems can be resolved! Couples are given the time and space they need (in 50min sessions once a week.) However, the decision to continue is always left with the couple, not the counsellor. Six sessions represents an average length of time, but every relationship is different, some couples need more time, some less.

Do I/we have to turn up every week?
Yes. The maximum benefit can be gained from counselling if there is continuity over a number of weeks, and once you start seeing a counsellor, you take the same time-slot each week. Obviously if you have to miss a week for some reason, you can pick it up the week after, but be sure to give adequate notice, or you may be charged.

Is counselling free?
The counselling is not free, as the Counselling Centre receives no regular public funding and has to provide the service almost entirely from client payments. There is a fixed minimum fee set by the Centre which is kept as low as possible. For couple counselling it is £35 (less if you are on benefits or low income.) When you consider that Couple Counselling is a specialist area involving additional training and support, this amount represents good value for a quality service.

What happens when I/we turn up?
You may wait in a comfortable waiting area, and then a couple counsellor will introduce him or herself to you, lead you to a private counselling room and initially ask for some factual information about you, a procedure carried out with all clients. The aim is to put you at ease, while establishing what your particular set of issues is about, and also ensuring that the Counselling Centre is the right place to help you. All subsequent sessions will be with the same counsellor.

What type of relationship is suitable for counselling?
Any 2 people in an adult relationship are suitable for counselling, whether heterosexual or same-sex couples, married, living together or separated. Couples who are undergoing or contemplating divorce can be helped to part on better terms. If your particular circumstances would not benefit from counselling, which is rare, your counsellor will tell you at the first meeting.

Do you have to come as a couple to have couple counselling?
There are many instances where one partner in a relationship can be helped on their own with the focus on the couple relationship. However if you come as a couple the benefit will be usually be much greater. If there is violence or abuse within the relationship it may be safer for you to come on your own.

Will we be seen separately or together?
Almost always you will be seen together, but in some situations if one partner has had a session on their own the other partner may also be offered one.

What backgrounds do couple counsellors have?
Most start as counsellors of individuals and then (when already quite experienced) receive specific training in working with couples. Others train specifically in couples work from the start and work for organisations such as Relate. The backgrounds and life experiences of counsellors vary so widely it is impossible to generalise. The quality and consistency of each counsellor's practice is monitored and supported by the Centre to ensure you receive a high quality service.

We are a gay couple. Can we be seen by a gay counsellor?
Currently there are no lesbian or gay counsellors at the centre, so if this is important to you, other organisations may suit you better. The issues of couples, whether multi-cultural, multi-faith or of a minority group will have common themes, so this is unlikely to prove a barrier to effective counselling.

I can't get to the Centre. How would I/we find a qualified couple counsellor?
The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy website will provide a list of counsellors and their qualifications. In a few cases, we are able to see a couple in their home, when it is impossible for them to get out, which is a service not offered by other organisations in the area.

Do you have any links with Relate?
The supervisor responsible for the couples work in the Centre was trained by Relate and has worked for them for 15 years. The manager is also a Relate-trained counsellor, so there is a body of expertise and experience within the organisation. We are not formally linked to Relate in any way, but informally we follow the same good practice.

Will a counsellor advise us whether to stay together or go our separate ways?
That choice is entirely up to you, the couple. Counsellors do not give advice of this nature though they will try to facilitate the conditions in which a couple can make the choice which is best for them.

If you have any questions of your own not covered above, contact the Centre on 0161 941 7754